Introducing re-membering conversations
by Tileah Drahm-Butler
Re-membering reciprocal relationships
by Chris Dolman
A reflection from Aunty Barbara Wimgard
Now please read a reflection from Aunty Barbara about Chris’ video:
Bringing lost loved ones into our conversations: Talking about loss in honouring ways.
Who’s your mob? Aboriginal mapping: Beginning with the strong story
This article by Justin Butler describes ways in which his conversations are guided by Aboriginal worldviews and narrative therapy:
‘Who’s your mob? Aboriginal mapping: Beginning with the strong story‘ by Justin Butler
Saying hullo again when we have lost someone we love
This chapter, by David Denborough, explores ways of ‘Saying hullo again when we have lost someone we love‘
It’s from a book called ‘Retelling the stories of our lives: Everyday narrative therapy to draw inspiration and transform experience’
Carolynanha Johnson
Having a yarn with those who’ve passed on.
This short piece of writing by Carolynanha Johnson is about having a yarn with those who have passed on.
Creative Letters to Elders of my Past and Present
In this video Annette Dudley describes a project about writing letters to significant Elders who have influenced her on my life journey.
Re-membering Practices
Now please read this article from Paul Martin about Re-membering Practices.
Reflecting on re-membering conversations
by Tileah Drahm-Butler
Rhianne – Brisbane, Australia
I found Justin Butler’s article particularly interesting. I found his description of Barghouti and Adichie’s ideas of ‘secondly’ stories quite powerful. And so true. The stories perpetuated by mainstream society tend to be stories that start somewhere in the middle, out of context. Butler wrote from the perspective of an Aboriginal practitioner. I wonder how his approach could be adapted for non-Aboriginal practitioners? How the questions he listed could be asked by non-Aboriginal practitioners? Or if they should be asked at all?
I really loved the idea of saying hello again to someone who has died, in particular remembering things they brought to your life when they were alive and recalling what things you contributed to their life. I think this is very powerful in helping people live alongside loss rather than sticking to a timeline of grief and grief being silenced. This inspires me to want to be a Narrative Therapist and help people in a more creative way rather than bearing witness to people participating in traditional grief practices that silence their grief. For example, people attending a grief group can be somewhat empowering. I have actually been to a few in my time after losing two husbands tragically. However, traditional grief therapy even in a group setting is along the same lines of someone going through the motions rather than empowering them. Silencing grief only aims to internalise the grief, I really believe this as someone who took ten years to move on from my first husbands death and after ten years I am still working to overcome my second husbands death. Saying hello again helps bring back hope by remembering positive times and the wonderful things that person brought to your life and I really love that. I even think I could benefit from Narrative Therapy myself!
I really loved the idea of saying hello again to someone who has died, in particular remembering things they brought to your life when they were alive and recalling what things you contributed to their life. I think this is very powerful in helping people live alongside loss rather than sticking to a timeline of grief and grief being silenced. This inspires me to want to be a Narrative Therapist and help people in a more creative way rather than them people carrying out traditional grief practices. For example, people attending a grief group can be somewhat empowering. I have actually been to a few in my time after losing two husbands tragically. However, traditional grief therapy even in a group setting is along the same lines of someone going through the motions rather than empowering them. Saying hello again helps bring back hope by remembering positive times and the wonderful things that person brought to your life and I really love that.
I have always placed high importance on memories. I am a very photogenic person as photos help keep those memories. When an exciting experience is over or we lose our loved ones, memories and feelings are all we have left.
I struggle at this time as I watch my nan who has always been so dear to me, slowly be taken away by dementia. I have watched as she lost her memories of people who are dear to her, of experiences she has cherished. I have watched as she has lost her ability to walk and communicate. It is hard knowing I have lost the person she was and will lose her again when she is taken from us.
I am great full for the memories I have of her before dementia and for the memories I continue to make with her.
I have personally practised some of the ideas discussed in this module. I have written letters to those I can’t speak to. I have spoken to those who can’t speak back. I have thought about how those close and dear to me might feel about my achievements and failures.
Family is life and memories are precious and to be valued.
Annette Dudley’s letter writing is a great narrative practice of externalising our own genetic DNA and our epic-genetics. It comes together in the form of a pasted descendant from our family and breathing new life into this pasted being.
We connect by the form of ancient communication technique of writing, composing text of conversations with our dead.
But at the same time Annette expresses the importance of listening, as it’s just as important as writing when using narrative letter writing as to listen is to write and form sentences of life in order to live and understand our makeup and past.
thanks
It is difficult to focus on one aspect of this module to comment on. However, one piece that resonated with me and stood out is in Justin Butler’s (2017) article regarding resisting colonization through how we introduce ourselves to one another as Indigenous peoples. As an Indigenous woman, I always understood that this is how my people introduced ourselves (by indicating our family lineage, Nation of origin, etc.), but to look at this through a lens of decolonization has definitely brought new life to this relational interchange of the sharing of family kin and cultural ties, as well as is the starting point for bringing forth our “strong story”. I love this. I am filled with gratitude for being able to learn from these Knowledge Keepers and Wisdom Holders today.
Incredibly detailed descriptions in the article relating to “saying hullo again”. So good to have so many practical examples we can keep and use. Found this concept very appropriate for all clients I see experiencing grief.
I love the idea of “saying hello again”, Denborough’s chapter was full of some wonderful gentle prompts.
I also appreciated the common thread throughout the readings and videos to acknowledge that when we are working with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people who are grieving, to remember the compounded grief of unresolved injustices that their current loss may bring up.
Annette Dudley writes so beautifully, the love and respect for Elders is ever present in her words. This is an inspiring project. Presenting this idea of a letter to someone special would be so powerful, deepening our connection to others and remembering what contributions they have played in our lives. Very special.
I find these journeys of remembering conversations so powerful and I am so grateful for all who shared. Thank you. I really appreciate the various ways these conversations have been embraced to make connections, deepen learning and enrich journeys.
Unspoken Words by Annette Dudley: what a beautiful inspired project. Please include a follow up of the Letters between Elders and Youth. The stories of our Elders can inspire and help strengthen our youth, in turn the youth can provide meaning and connection for our Elders. This is a very worthwhile project.