I first went into custody when I was 13. I had never slept outside of my home until then. My parents said, ‘Look what you’ve done; we’re never going to come and visit.’ But then the next day, my whole family came to see me – there were 10 or 11 of them. And when I saw them all, I was cheering inside. They asked, ‘Why did you do it?’, and they said, ‘We’re here for you’.
There was this one time my mum saw me sitting in the holding cells. I saw her just sitting there crying and I felt so angry with myself. Everything my parents have done for me and I’m looking out seeing her tears. I thought to myself, ‘When I get out I want to change everything’.
I got through the sentence by talking to my parents and knowing what was happening for them. But the visits made it hard too. I had rage when I was inside and saw my parents cry. People say you should just get your rage out – but that’s bullshit. You have to find another way.
It was my mum and family who helped stop the offending – they made me not want to go back inside. Now, I think about everything twice. If I get close to doing something, I tell myself to stay out of trouble and to think of my family, my mum, even if they are not there.
After that time in the holding cells I haven’t got busted. I haven’t wanted to see my mum upset. I say to myself, ‘Nothing’s worth my mum’s tears’.